Watercooler Pick
You Hurt My Feelings
- Movie
- Where to Find It: Theaters
- Rating: R
- Release Date: May 26, 2023
- Runtime: 1 hour 33 minutes
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Beth is a successful author who seems to have the ideal life, right down to her harmonious marriage with her therapist husband, Don. When she discovers that he didn’t like her most recent book, it sets off a cascade of questions for the couple, their family and friends in this smart comedy from Nicole Holofcener.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Veep) stars as Beth and Tobias Menzies (The Crown) as her husband, Don. Look for Michaela Watkins (Werewolves Within), Owen Teague (To Leslie), Jeanine Berlin (Succession), Amber Tamblyn (Y: The Last Man), and David Cross (8-Bit Christmas). Award-winning indie filmmaker Nicole Holofcener (Can You Ever Forgive Me?, Walking and Talking) wrote and directed the film.
If you miss Selena from Veep or Elaine from Seinfeld, Julia Louis Dreyfus is back to remind you of both of her iconic characters in this sharply observed comedy about ego death, marriage, and midlife crises, and the lies we often rely on to survive them all.
But You Hurt My Feelings goes a few layers deeper than the sitcoms Julia Louis Dreyfus is known for. Beth is crushed when she learns what her husband really thinks of her latest work, and begins to emotionally distance herself. Don, meanwhile, has his own career crisis. He’s beginning to question whether he’s a good therapist, and it doesn’t help that his clients make passive-aggressive or direct comments about their lack of progress from his sessions.
Yet the actors manage to keep the humor and lighter tone afloat despite all of the unraveling. Don’s encounters with his patients, especially couple Carolyn and Jonathan (Amber Tamblyn and David Cross, a real life couple), were some of my favorites, and the banter between them had me nearly falling out of my seat.
With all its lighter moments, the film underscores the very real and relatable crises of the characters with cinematography that captures New York’s many contrasts. Every location, from park scenes to interiors, fills in the spaces with intrigue.
What sets You Hurt My Feelings apart, however, is its ability to resonate with anyone plagued with self doubt or anyone performing the tightrope act that is balancing honesty with empathy in their relationships. That’s a fairly big audience for a smaller film, which explains why you can only watch this one in theaters.
The rare grown-up comedy that hits home while delivering an escape, You Hurt My Feelings has something to say about the power of both honesty and vulnerability in helping us connect. I wouldn’t be surprised if it makes a few critics’ lists for funniest films of the year.
Friends and loved ones, because it is a conversation starter. Fans of Louis-Dreyfus and Holofcener’s comedic work will love it, and writers and therapists will relate.
Go Deeper
Amber Tamblyn and David Cross talk about how therapy helped in the real life and in You Hurt My Feelings.
Meanwhile, Michaela Watkins says that You Hurt My Feelings “is going to cause a lot of divorces.”
Screenwriter and director Nicole Holofcener is behind several cult favorite indie comedy dramas including Walking and Talking, Friends with Money, Just Give, and Enough Said, in which she also worked with Louis-Dreyfus and Tamblyn.
- Moods: make me laugh
- Interests: conversation worthy, modern families, star power