Halloween Movies that Won’t Haunt You

non-scary-halloween-movies

Halloween Movies that Won’t Haunt You

It’s that time of year when pumpkins line the streets and the group chats are abuzz with costume scheming. Halloween is on the brain. And what better way to set the mood than a fun holiday flick to enchant your home screens? But if you’re anything like me, and your bandwidth for spooky maxes out at Ghostbusters, you’re quickly scrolling past most of the horror classics. 

But we deserve festivity too! And there are still plenty of films that’ll ignite the Halloween spirit without keeping you up at night. So, we’ve assembled a roster of movies, low on scary but high on autumn energy. If your idea of Halloween fun is tablescaping with gourds and eating candy corn, then these are for you.

The Perennial Hits

Halloween classics we return to year after year. Start here for maximum spirit.

Halloweentown

“What might arguably be the best Disney Channel Original film, Halloweentown has now become a Halloween staple. Spanning a total of four films (does the fourth film Non scary halloween movies 2023really count though?) the series is set in a town where witches, vampires, werewolves, mummies, skeletons, and more spooky creatures live side by side. It follows Marnie Piper (Kimberly J. Brown) and her family of witches, including her grandmother Aggie (lovingly played by screen legend Debbie Reynolds), as they adventure with—and protect—the various citizens. Halloweentown itself is a party every day. The citizens dress up in costume, constantly eat candy, and are as friendly as most Canadians. As the series goes on, Marine learns more about her own witchy skills and even brings some of the Halloweentownies into our world.” – Sarah Mina Osman 

Practical Magic 

“Sisters Sally and Gillian were born into a magical family but spurned the craft for most of their lives. But when one of

Non scary halloween movies 2023

them gets entangled with an abusive boyfriend, they realize witchcraft might come in handy. Practical Magic is one of those unicorn films that features two heavy hitters before they were Oscar winners (Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman) and their star power is already palpable. With the perfect mix of small East Coast town charm à la Gilmore Girls, feel-good sisterhood, and a healthy dose of witchyness to keep things interesting, the 1998 film is the quintessential fall movie, sans any big ticket scares. Essential to watch while sipping cider, snug under a big blanket.” – JR Atkinson

Hocus Pocus

It was mostly dismissed by critics when it debuted 30 years ago, but with time this camp classic has grown its fanbase with Non scary halloween movies 2023each Halloween, and now its getting a big screen showcase in honor of its anniversary.  Its endurance is a tribute to its blend of comedy, fantasy and Salem Witch Trial lore with family-friendly teen leads and an iconic cast that includes Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy, and Penny Marshall (the Laverne in Laverne & Shirley).  It helps that the story draws in the kids, as it follows two teens who just moved to modern-day Salem, Mass, where they face the usual new kid trials — until they unleash a trio of witches who were hanged in the 1600s and are back for revenge. A lightweight time capsule that feels like a seasonal rite of passage for a two or three generation watch – free of anything that would actually haunt you.   — Melissa Roth

New & Noteworthy

Recent Watercooler picks that have a Halloween je ne sais quoi, from wholesome sci-fi to a goofy, scaredy-cat-proof homage to slasher flicks. 

Asteroid City

Wes Anderson’s 11th film, Asteroid City follows one Augie (Jason Schwartzman), a recently-widowed war photographer, as he navigates through the complex galaxies of love, loss, and alien invasion. He’s joined by a fittingly star-studded cast of Anderson newbies and returnees, including Maya Hawke as a teacher (June), Scarlett Johansson as a superstar actress (Midge), and Tom Hanks as Augie’s father-in-law (Stanley). In typical Andersonian fashion, Asteroid City falls neatly outside Non scary halloween movies 2023of generic lines, elegantly dodging the question of exactly what it wants to be. Advertised as something of a sci-fi flick, its actual science is practically nonexistent, amounting to little more than thrown jargon, laser guns, and dimwit technicians in lab coats. In recent weeks, Asteroid City reviewers have taken to the term dramedy, with New York Times staff writers describing it as “comic and often wry” with “the soul of a tragedy.” The entire film is, indeed, permeated by a painful, indomitable sadness, which is beautified and filled with irony against colorful sets and the bright-desert sun.” – Aaron Cohen

Bottoms

After accidentally starting a feud with the school’s beloved quarterback, PJ and Josie concoct an after-school fight club as a way to garner the respect of their school and win the attention of the popular girls. But the Superbad-esque plot for underdogs to get laid soon meets the unexpected current of campy violence, in the spirit of Jennifer’s Body or Jawbreaker. The two threads exist in harmonious tandem, equal parts teen sex comedy and Non scary halloween movies 2023bloody brawl-fest. Bottoms has much to offer: well-played comedy, over-the-top antics, and underdogs to root for. But those in the market for something fresh will be even more rewarded, as the film flips the script on a well-worn genre. It has all the makings of a classic sleepover movie for a new generation. Perfect for staying up past your bedtime to giggle with your friends over. – JR Atkinson

For the Whole Family 

Kid-friendly semi-spooky picks with more than enough meat for the non-kids at the Halloween party.

Cruella 

Another fresh take on a classic Disney villain, a la Maleficent, but this time it’s 101 Dalmatians’ Cruella who gets a cooler, kinder, and more animal-friendly edit, with a few nods to the old story—kidnapped dalmatians, robbery schemes, and psycho fashion designers—all set against 1970s London. It’s a dazzling, jaw-dropping, fashion-filled ride. I went in curious about how they were going to retell Cruella’s story sans puppy-murder Non scary halloween movies 2023plans, and that’s taken off the table within the first 10 minutes of the movie (in a scene you may seen making the rounds on social media). Cruella really is more of an original story than an origin story. Cruella—originally Estella—is a girl born with two-toned hair and a fighting spirit, orphaned under tragic and villainous circumstances. Bullies beware. – Liz Coopersmith 

Mom’s Got a Date With a Vampire

“If you were grounded, instead of using a rope ladder to climb out your window, why not set your mom up on a date with a vampire? That’s the premise behind this early 2000s Disney Channel Original movie, starring Caroline Rhea (Aunt Hilda on Sabrina the Teenage Witch). Adam (Matt O’Leary) and his sister Chelsea (Laura Vandervoot) get grounded (Chelsea calls her brother a dweeb, which in Disney speak is worse than Non scary halloween movies 2023most swears) so they decide to set their mom up on a date with a local vampire (Charles Shaughnessy), who, in all fairness, they do not know is a vampire until it’s too late. When their younger brother Taylor points out that this guy is clearly from Transylvania, they enlist the help of local vampire hunter Malachi Van Helsing (Robert Carradine) to help save their mom. It’s never clear why the kids didn’t just set their mom up with Van Helsing in the first place, as surely she would have become a vampire slayer and they would have been free to break all the rules come nighttime. But who are we to argue with DCOM logic?” – Sarah Mina Osman 

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